THE KIRKPATRICK FAMILY
The Kirkpatricks are a bi-racial family, Joyce is Hong Kong Chinese and James is Canadian. They have 3 children; 2 sons (aged 11 and 8 respectively) and a daughter (aged 6). Joyce is an Architect and James is an Urban Planner, they started their family in the United Arab Emirates and all of the children hold dual nationality. The family relocated from Abu Dhabi to Hong Kong in 2017 and then decided to return to UAE in 2022 and they currently call Dubai home.
What made you decide to do the “one parent, one language” method?
Living abroad and being away from family, I wanted our first born to be fully connected through Cantonese. It was important that he could talk to family. I was a stay at home parent and had the time and resources to dedicate to teaching him the language. I would speak to him consistently in Cantonese and my husband would be English. His only exposure to the language was through me and I knew I had to be thorough with the teaching.
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What ways did you try to immerse him in Cantonese?
I read to him daily and our home library contained an equal amount of Chinese and English books. He loved reading story books and had interest in both languages. I firmly believe that reading to children gives them a solid foundation in language learning and that they grow up to learn to love reading too. It has never been a struggle to get my children to read.
At a young age, I showed him sight words and he was able to recognise a good hundred by 2 years old. I was really proud of his achievement and never pressured him to learn, it was always done as a fun activity. Children learn best when they don’t know they are learning.
We formed a close knit relationship with my Cantonese speaking friends where we were like family. We shared the same perspective that the minority language would be the most important. All our children would speak Cantonese together and it strengthened their bond with the language. Having him socialise in Cantonese made it natural for him to think and converse in it.
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Did it pave the way for easier communication with the 2 youngest?
I continued with one parent, one language when we lived in Abu Dhabi, but when we relocated to Hong Kong and hired a domestic helper, the English language was more dominant in the household. I found myself speaking more in English and the children would follow suit. I would say that I was more relaxed in speaking Cantonese simply because we were in the environment and they had consistent exposure from school, classmates and family members.
The shift in Cantonese exposure at home has resulted in the children talking to me mainly in English now. Even if I talk to them in Cantonese, they will respond in English. My daughter has had the least exposure as she was an infant when we moved to Hong Kong so was brought up predominantly speaking English. Her Cantonese pronunciation is a little off and her vocabulary is nowhere near as wide as both her brother’s.
One thing that I do regret not doing is carrying on with Chinese sight words with my eldest. It’s very difficult to have that same dedication when the second child comes along and then the third. By the time I had my third, I returned back to work and then there was even less time to teach them Chinese.
What struggles did you find with Hong Kong’s school system?
The most stressful thing was finding a primary school for our eldest son. Even though he was at an International school in Abu Dhabi, we decided to apply for local and semi-private schools in Hong Kong as there would be no way we could afford 3 children at International school.
We arrived in Hong Kong mid-term and were in a rush to enrol him into a school. Literally, we didn’t do much research on schools and it was a stab in the dark. The interview process was daunting for everyone and we did not prepare our son fully. As we turned up for the interviews, we could tell that the other parents and the children knew how the system worked and were all extremely well dressed and the children on their best behaviour.
Nevertheless, our son got a place at a semi-private school and it was actually the only one that accepted him. I would call it a “happy” school as it wasn’t entirely competitive.
We had a well known school on our doorstep, which we didn’t even bother to apply to because we knew that it would it wasn’t the type of environment that we wanted our children in. Famous schools are focused on academic excellence and churning out the best of the best. We just wanted him to have a well rounded education and to have happy memories of school life.
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Was there anything that you were particularly strict about in terms of homework?
To be honest the homework load wasn’t quite as scary as I thought it would be. My son was good at getting his homework done and we didn’t have many power struggles with it.
The one thing that I have always been strict about is 8:30pm bedtime. Not only do the children foster a good sleeping habit and routine, us adults can also have our downtime, it’s the perfect balance of structure for our family. It’s another reason why we wouldn’t choose academically focused schools, as we want to protect our sanity!
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How well did all the children adapt to school life in Hong Kong?
Our middle son transitioned well into Primary because he had more formal learning of Chinese. Our eldest struggled through the years with his Chinese. Even though he would get full marks for Chinese dictation in class, he didn’t fare well in exams. He didn’t know enough vocabulary to help him fill in the blanks or read the questions and so I advised him to be a detective and guess. I wanted to encourage him to at least try and not feel demotivated when he got a low score. The last thing I want him to feel is failure and it’s not the end of the world.
I was schooled in Hong Kong where I finished Secondary Form 2 and then continued the rest of my education in Canada. I empathised with my children and we never placed emphasis on grades. However, I instilled in them the importance of being responsible for their work and working to the best of their ability.
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Did you find relief in the children returning to International school in Dubai?
To a certain extent yes, but there are values in the Hong Kong system that their International school lacks such as discipline and resilience. I think children should need a certain amount of expectation and to draw clear boundaries for them. Their current school “offers” homework and it is not mandatory as they don’t want to put stress on the students. My children say that not everyone in the class hands in their homework, and I reply that each to their own, but in our household, we do homework, however big or small.
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What other languages are the children currently learning?
French is the foreign language that they are learning in school. I am unable to help with that, but James being Canadian, can support them. The children were learning Putonghua in Hong Kong and so we have continued with that and they are tutored by my Taiwanese friend who teaches her own children. I am happy with the overall exposure they are getting for languages and they never feel it’s a burden to learn. I want my children to appreciate all languages and I place importance on Cantonese because that it part of their roots.
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Writer's Notes
It is important to cultivate an acceptance of different languages and cultures and raising children in different languages keeps parts of their own identity alive and gives children a tangible connection to their heritage and not just for the sake of grades. I strongly agree with Joyce that adequate sleep is key to good health, well-being and proper functioning across all life stages critical for children. I am also a firm believer of early bed time because my sanity isn’t only important because I am important, but also because my children need sane parents.
July 2024
